Every morning I jump awake as soon as I hear the girls’ door unlatch and then locate where my three year old daughter, Aliyah, has ventured off to. In television and movies you always see the kids running into the parents bedroom and jumping in bed with them waking them up…in reality it’s the furthest from the truth. I scramble my only very slightly conscious self and my nine month old, Ameliana, and book it for the front room before Aliyah releases mayhem on the house. If I’m really being honest though my presence won’t prevent the chaos, I’m just witness too it, but once I get the morning routine of diaper changes, filling sippycups with water, turning to a channel on the tv that may hold their attention for 5 minutes at a time, and after the first hundred “no’s” and “hands to yourselves ” I have several questions that circle in my head like vultures. First off who do these kids get this morning person persona from?I know it’s definitely not their father nor myself, although my mother may say otherwise of me as a child but I always remember being night owl and only a morning person on Christmas or Easter. Second, Is there some unwritten kid rule where you must poop right after you are changed into a fresh diaper? Or do they look at each other and be like “I bet you can’t make her change your diaper twice in 5 minutes.” Then it’s a blur of other questions like will I ever not be tired again in my life? Do they really have caffeine patches like in Meet the Robinsons? I need like 10. What is the appeal of a bag of baby wipes to these kids? Can I run to the bathroom fast enough so it doesn’t turn into baby fight club in the front room?
My eight year old, Audrina, on the other hand is cut from the same cloth as myself; she can sleep through an earthquake, fire alarm, utter chaos, and someone specifically trying to wake her up. She could sleep for a full eight hours and be ready for a nap after breakfast but she usually wanders into the front room about a hour after all the crazy begins with the all familiar face of being dazed and confused. That bring us roughly to 8 am where the chaos really begins but I’ll leave that for another post.